We had some amazing times and also some horrible mistakes. I think we were truly in love but with the distance and our own personal problems and insecurities we just weren’t expecting all of this. I really wish things didn’t have to end this way. I wish instead of all the harsh things said and you not even wanting to communicate in the slightest, I wish we could have at least stayed in contact to a degree. I still have love for you and care about how you and your family is doing. I apologized and took responsibility for the mistakes I made but it meant absolutely nothing to you. You made the bigger mistakes in the relationship and i forgave you but when I did something, no matter how small it was as if I had committed an unforgivable sin. And then when something made you mad you didn’t want to talk about it and explain to me why/how much it bothered you. You lied to me about everything. You were still with your “ex” while you were supposedly my boyfriend. And then in the end when you actually agreed to be friends you took it all back. You got back with your ex and let her say horrible things to/about me and you agreed with them. How fucking dare you treat me like that. I didn’t do anything to deserve that, especially not from the whore you lied to me about. And then when I let you have your space I tried to end things nicely. Just through a text because I know you would just ignore my call. I was very civil and as much as I didn’t want and as much as it killed me I let go, because that’s what you wanted. But instead of just leaving it alone and appreciating that I let you go, you had to reply with a smartass remark that left me wondering and sad yet again. So i got angry and instead of being an adult you pulled me down to your level and made me an asshole. I posted mean things on my skype because I knew you could see them. But then eventually I realized it was wrong and went back to posting my normal daily update. But you couldn’t be an adult still. You sent me a message saying you were going to block me instead of just doing it. You told me just to bother me and get a response. But i tried to stay civil and asked why and apologized for the mean posts and said okay. But of course it couldn’t end there. You had to say something as harsh as “I can’t believe i fell for you, god bro.” Are you fucking kidding me? here are all the things I wanted to say to that. You fell for me because I am an awesome person. I am nice, loving, caring, forgiving. We had a great couple of months and just because things got messed up you automatically blame them on me? The only reason you fell out of love with me is because of all the things and bullshit you put me through. Instead of being caring and forgiving you made me clingy and skeptical. Which I had every right to be because you lied to me for the majority of our relationship. So why dont you “look in the mirror bro” because you are the one who pushed me that way. There’s only a certain ammount of lies and bullshit I can take before the way I look at you changes. But i didn’t say any of that. I was the bigger person and said okay and let you go. And even that you had to respond to childishly. So in the end I had to just accept the fact that you werent going to end things in a mature way and the only satisfaction I get is knowing that I was the adult, which for me isn’t enough. There are so many unanswered questions that you refused to answer to give me my closure. I think the only reason you are handling the situation this way is to justify all the horrible things you did to me. If you put all the blame on me and stay angry it makes all the things you did to me acceptable. Beleive it or not after all of this I really do still love you. I am so upset at you and won’t allow myself to talk to you unless you grow up and apologize. But I really wish we could just talk all this out, resolve things, and remain friends. I hope one day it really hits you. I hope you realize all the stupid things you did and that you lost someone so special because of all your mistakes. I hope one day it hits you hard.

Sincerely, 

Susan